Do you know when I love Kuala Lumpur? I mean, really, really love Kuala Lumpur?

Any day that does not include school holidays.

Whenever it is holidays, the city is so packed with school kids with their funky dressing and oh-so-hip hairstyle. It just ruins the fun for those that do not go to school in uniform. And next week, much to my dismay, schools are set to close for a week. Imagine, a week of them!

Even the schools and teachers are booting their students out. What do you think us the non-school-kid-in-uniform feel?

Unbearable!

It is like standing in front of the auction house at Ironforge in Azeroth on Saturday night! Or worse, caught in a lag in front of the auction house in the hostile Orgrimmar!

Oh, the horror! The lag!

I am just happy that come this Saturday, I will be down in Port Dickson celebrating the return of migratory birds to Malaysia. I am okay with birds but school kids, argh!

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against school kids but they have the tendency to remind me that four million is a huge number. Yes, there are roughly four million people in and around Kuala Lumpur.

Despite having that much people, the city doesn’t feel like it has four million two-legged primate on typical weekdays. When I was stationed at the Petronas Twin Towers for a couple of months, it felt great. There I was, inside one of the tallest buildings in the world, enjoying the view, trying to spot Genting Highlands from my seat every lunch time or after work.

Hungry?

I would just go down, get myself an ersatz bagel or overpriced nasi lemak, and then sit anywhere I like with a friend or a good book.

With school kids, bah!

They just ruin my style! I swear all of them are conspiring to ruin every non-school kid in Kuala Lumpur.

Movies?

Nope, no more seat. They are all taken by kids without their white uniform.

Seat in the trains?

Nope. Guess who?

Food?

Get a number dude.

You better run with your life!

The city will experience overpopulation next week. It’s the Malthusian scenario and nothing less!